Derby, The Sassy Cat

Hey, my human mum (hu-mum?) has left the computer on. Now is my chance to leave my message. I'm Derby, just your basic cat. But mum says I am one sassy cat.

I live with my mum in a lovely house with lots of windows. That way I can watch all of the birdies outside. My mum even puts special food out to bring them around for me to watch.

I just turned two a few weeks ago. My mum says that is like my being a teenager. She says I even have acne like a teenager. Whatever acne is, she even washes my chin for me. Doesn’t she know I can do this myself?